Mambo number 5... is just one of the many hits for Lou Bega.

One thing about Arizona, when you wake up everything hurts.

I think the mascot for Arizona should just be a hungover sunburn. When you ask a question of the tourism office for Arizona the reply should be, “Hey man, do you have to talk so loud?”

Walking around Scottsdale feels like you’re in a music video. All the guys look like they should be in bands, all the women look like they’re trying to be groupies for the band, and no one seems to have a job.

The Mariners lost to the Reds yesterday, this time at the Peoria stadium. Again, the Mariners only scored one run. I’m not one to read too much into spring training and what it means for the rest of the season, but given last year’s historically bad offense, every game where the Mariners don’t seem to be able to hit is like post tramatic stress for an M’s fan.

Jack Cust ripped a double with no outs yesterday. And anyone who watched games regularly last year felt impending doom that second base is as far as Cust was going to get. Sure enough… pop up, strike out, ground out… inning over.

Now, I’m no sabermetric genius. But here are things that have more hits than the Mariners:

Lupus from Bad News Bears

90′s music star Lou Bega

A Youtube video of a guy watching a guy watch pigeons at the park.

The good news is I managed to go a whole day without getting thrown out a window.

Here’s hoping the Mariners heat up the bats a little bit today. Batting practice guys, lost of batting practice.